Let me get into your head for a bit. You ever just got fully dressed up, deep down inside you know you look amazing but the moment you step out that door, you start to notice all the people around you that you think look ten times better than you and all of a sudden, you just want to go back where you came from. Let me cite another example. You are in your workplace, get called into the boardroom for a meeting where everybody has to put their heads together to come up with ways to improve a certain something in the organization. You have an opinion but you do not speak because person A is dishing out their opinion and you feel in your head they are the smarter party so your opinion needs to stay where it is, in your head because for some reason you have managed to convince yourself that they always have something more intelligent to produce than you ever could so you stay quiet. Another scenario and this is a broad one, hating your own life because person X is living the dream and seems like they have everything figured out, under control, and you want that. Watching them from a distance, you start to feel disheartened and disappointed and discontent because you think your lifestyle is not up to par. I could go on and on citing more examples but I am going to pause for a bit and tell you what is so wrong about living a life that revolves around comparing yourself to others. EVERYTHING!!!
Now you may have noticed that every time you compare yourself to somebody else or what that person has that you do not have, it instantly takes away from your happiness at that moment and most of the time, more than a moment. All of a sudden, you want to crawl into a closet where no one can see you or you mentally start to assimilate how you could have done things differently in order to look like that person or better or you start to convince yourself that nobody notices you because you do not look or act or dress like a certain someone or you start to wish upon the stars or engage in certain practices just to match up their lifestyle.
There is one truth I think you need to know. NOT EVERYTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS. Not everything that glitters is gold. The person you may be comparing yourself to just might be faring worse than you can ever imagine. It’s just like a cake coated with icing, no matter how rotten the inside is, the exterior would still remain as beautiful as the day it was made. So be careful what you wish for cause you do not know what you might get in return.
Now another thing is that person’s journey you may be comparing your own to, the one you are constantly nagging yourself about asking yourself why you are not in the same position as them, you do not know what the person had to go through to get to that point. I wish I could tell you that abracadabra would suffice in a situation like this but these people worked their way to the top so a breakneck pace would not cut it. Slow and steady wins the race.
You might think it is okay to feel like you are not good enough or your life is not great enough but let me tell you one thing, you are dimming a light that so desperately wants to shine very bright. You are so specially made that no matter what that next person looks like or has, you are so different and you stand out in your own way. No two people are the same for a reason because everyone has a uniqueness about them, a uniqueness to offer this world. Do not let the idea of thinking you need to be like someone else or have what someone else has prevent you from leaving your own mark on this earth.
If you have been comparing yourself to others, I implore you to stop it right now. That is a lot of toxic energy that should not have any place in your life and around your happiness. No matter what you step out of your home looking like, wear it with confidence. Don’t go looking around for who looks better than you, appreciate the beauty that exists around you and understand that your uniqueness also makes up that beauty. No matter how slow your process is, you will get where you need to be. You know that saying, it’s not about who finishes first but who finishes best. Instead, redirect all that energy into being the best version of yourself because when you truly feel good about yourself on the inside, you start to reflect it on the outside. You become confident in what you look like and who you are and what you have even though it may not be where you want to be but then you would understand that everybody’s journey is different.
I love this short and concise quote by Lailah Gifty Akita. It says “There is no need for comparison. Be happy with yourself and find satisfaction in your work.”
I need you to truly digest these quotes. They say it all.
“Uniqueness lies in not comparing oneself to others.”
― Raheel Farooq
“Stop thinking you’re doing it all wrong. Your path doesn’t look like anybody else’s because it can’t, it shouldn’t, and it won’t.”
― Eleanor Brownn
“You are not required to perform like them, you are required to perform like you.”
― Bangambiki Habyarimana
“Comparison is waste of energy. Every individual is unique with unique talents. Find your passion and live your best life.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita
“Dear YOU, don’t compare yourself to ANYONE. Your Unique Self is empowered, powerful, and unstoppable! Your uniqueness is what makes you incomparable! Don’t underestimate the beauty of just being YOU.”
― Stephanie Lahart
“Whatever your passion is, keep doing it. Don’t waste time chasing after success or comparing yourself to others. Every flower blooms at a different pace. Excel at doing what your passion is and only focus on perfecting it. Eventually people will see what you are great at doing, and if you are truly great, success will come chasing after you.”
― Suzy Kassem